When I break God’s rules, I have to pay the price. I’ve learned while God’s forgiveness is vast and His love for me is overwhelming, the consequences for my actions still rest on me....so could it be the consequences for my actions from many years ago, like blowing off $2500 dollars in a casino and being stupid on a job like making to many mistake because somehow strange as it is my mind can't seem to grow up be the cause of my suffering now ? if so god i just pray that you forgive me at whatever mistakes i made in the past and help me in the future to make more mature christian like decisions in the future...and i do thank god for given me what i do have now and that i realize it could be worse then it is now so thanks for that and i pray god the come june 14th when i see the psychiatrist that you help him guide me in the right direction...thanks for your ultimate sacrifice jesus i love you with all my heart amen...