HELP

I've been struggling this past year with accepting who I am. I hate myself and everything about what I've done with my life. I never feel like I'm making my mom proud no matter how hard I try. I'm just never good enough for her. I feel so selfish but I can't stop these feelings of hatred toward myself. I felt depressed and I felt as if there was no solution. I even started cutting and I still can't stop. I have severe anxiety that I've been hiding from everyone for years. I have just recently been able to control it but I still have days where I can't handle everything that's going on. I need the strength to tell someone I need help so I can get better. I know if I keep holding everything in and pretending everything is okay I'm going to end up digging myself into a hole I won't be able to get out of. I've never been to church before or had any type of religious experience but I'm desperate and need to find a different outlook on life and begin somewhere refreshing.

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