Dear God, it hurts. everything around me and everything i do, it hurts. i hate waking up in the mornings. i hate knowing and feeling. i hate crying, and i dont want to cry any more. i feel like if i wasnt here, that things would be better. i dont know why i am here. i feel alone and tired, always have to please someone. always have to say its ok, when its not, when i know i am dying on the inside. i want to leave, i want to be free. i want to speak out, but if i do, i dont know what is going to happen. i feel trapped. i am so young and i feel this way already. why should i go on? i love you lord but what does life have for me? i'm so tired of feeling hurt and pain. i cant understand why, the purpose fo this. why i feel tortured? i dont know what to pray for anymore, cause i dont know what i need. i'm afraid if someone knew what was going on inside me. that i have felt this way for years. i'm so tiredof asking the question why. why me. i dont want to be here, never wanted it, so why am i here? i know i'm supposed to feel thankful the little things, and i am, but i feel like not being here would've been better. i'm calling on you dear father, for something, anything, some glance at peace and happiness. something to believe in again.