God please heal my broken heart

I have been through so many failed relationships over the past few years (being cheated on and lied to in every single relationship) and when I finally met the current guy, I really truly believed that this was it-that I finally found my match. He and I were inseparable, so crazy in love with each other and everything was going really great-for the 8 1/2 months we were together. Then, as most couples do, we ended up having a fight last week. I admit that it was my fault, and I never meant to say what I did and I did it because I was having a bad day that day I was already upset about something else. Well, instead of talking things out and working things out-something we always vowed to do, no matter what, he began to act cold and distant instantly toward me. At first, I thought you know OK I deserve that, but then something else happened. He started to dramatically change-almost like a 180 instantly. I thought at first that when we had the argument and all the times I poured out my heart crying and saying I was sorry, that he would forgive me and we would patch things up-after-all he did say he wanted to work things out. Then, all of a sudden along with being cold and distant, he started making up excuses for why he couldn't answer my calls or why he can't see me face to face, etc. And as hurt as I was I was thinking maybe he just needed some space. But, the whole time-from the fight up until the other day with the little bit of talk he did make with me, he said he wanted to work things out and that he still loves me and everything is perfectly fine with us. So, that gave me some kind of hope-or so I thought. Because, out of nowhere yesterday, after my best friend tried to get a hold of him to find out what was going on, he finally admitted to her that he did not want to be with me and that it was over. When she asked why, he told her that his parents didn't want him to see me anymore (confused as to why, when all the times I met them, they were really nice to me). Then, he continued to tell her that another reason why he can't come and see me anymore, was because he was "super busy" now. So, she offered to take me to see him-even if it was for just a little bit (something he was always open to before) and he came up with the excuse that she can't because there's construction going on in his area. Then, when she had asked him if he was seeing someone else and if that was the real reason why he was breaking up with me, he tried to avoid answering it and instead replied that he was out with friends. This really hurts because, he couldn't even tell me himself. Instead, he continued to lead me on making me think that everything was perfectly fine with us and then expected my best friend to relay the message to me. He really hurt me to the core, especially when he swore up and down to me that he would never ever do to me what my exes had done and giving me the false hope that we were gonna work things out. So anyway, then after my friend talked to him and told him that she thinks he should step up and tell me himself, he finally called and told me. But then, he tried to say that we can still be friends and that IF he ever decided to date someone else, that he would like for me to be accepting of it-all the same time he's telling me that how I am the best girlfriend he has ever had and how I am always going to hold a special place in his heart and that he will always care about me and love me. Really? How can he even say those things, let alone even expect me to be friends or be open-minded towards him possibly dating someone else so quick, after everything we had together? He wasn't just some guy that I was dating for 8 1/2 months, we were talking about getting married and settling down-numerous times. I would like to add, that before he said it was over-during the week of our fight, he did tell me that he didn't have to answer that , after he hesitated, when he was asked if there was someone else. I really loved him and am so hurt, numb and confused as to why he did what he did. Nobody saw it coming, in fact everyone loved him, especially my parents. Since the fight, and now the breakup, I can't sleep, I don't want to eat, I wake up with major anxiety attacks, I cry every day on and off. I guess this is God's way of revealing to me (through the fight and break up), his true colors-something he apparently did a good job of hiding the whole time we were together. And to make things worse, I really thought that God had brought him to me and me to him (he even said that God brought us together). Please pray for me. I am a total wreck right now. My heart can't take anymore of this pain. I literally have been through so much hurt and pain in every single relationship I ever had and now I have to endure it yet again, especially when he vowed he would never ever hurt me or break up with me. I know he's lying about everything and there's definitely something he's hiding, and it's really hurting and confusing me, because how can he go 8 1/2 months from telling everyone how happy I make him and how crazy in love he is with me to cold and distant and that I'm smothering him (which is another lie, he was actually the one doing all the calling and texting not me). It hurts because there is so many unanswered questions (questions I have asked him but he either avoids it or makes up a lie about it) and now, the friends we shared mutually, have all turned their backs on me as if I did something so wrong to him when I didn't.. For all I know while he's busy telling me one thing, he's probably telling everyone else something else, probably something to make me look like the bad person. Nothing is making sense and it just really hurts. As a little note to why I have had failed relationships, I honestly don't know. I am starting to think that maybe I am "unlucky" in love or something. Every guy I have dated has always been super sweet and just Mr. Wonderful and then after dating awhile, they all of a sudden start lying to me and then of course the ultimate betrayal-cheating on me and then expect me to just be friends after everything is done and over with. How can you just be friends with someone you not only dated, but were so in love with? I don't think you ever can.

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