courage to move on..

I'm a 37 yr old woman who has three beautiful boys and I've been engaged to be married to the father of the younger two boys for about five of the fourteen yrs that we've been together. Happiness does not live in our home and hasn't for a long time. I lost myself I'm this relationship in every way imaginable my physical appearance , financial stability ,emotional dependency ,SELF-ESTEEM... I've allowed this man to change me inside and out.. I'm tired of being in his shadow and feeling that I'm not worthy of marriage ...I've stayed so long in this situation simply because of my boys and fear of not being able to make it on my own with them as he makes a considerable amount more money than I do and I don't wanna disappoint my kids. But I want to be loved and to truly feel what its like to have someone embrace me for more than a physical 10 minutes .. so I've been praying for strength and courage to get out and move on to happiness and pease for my kids and myself .. please pray for me.