But it has been about 10 years since I have even had a date. Admittedly part of that stems from trust issues that developed from having had my fiance leave me for a different man back many years ago. I am trying to move on and yet I have so little luck. I lift it up to God daily and trust He has a plan. I trust that He knows the condition of my heart and the emotional pain that I feel. I have met some women on different dating sites and, just when things seemed to be moving in the right direction something suddenly changes for them and they either break things off with me or just stop responding. So I am at a loss. I have faithfully served at the church that I go to in various capacities with the right motivation...not for my glory but His. I am not the most handsome man in the world. But I am certainly not ugly by the standards of the flesh. And still I am painfully lonely. For the past few years I have been suffering from insomnia, depression and anxiety in varying degrees. There was even a few years ago that I had to take time off from work because I was getting suicidal. Thankfully things are not that bad now. But the pain and loneliness is sometimes more than I can bear and I am given to wonder if God's plan actually involves a godly help mate for me and if I am just missing something. In my relationship with God I know I am the broken one and He is perfect. I am just not understanding why I have not been able to find anyone in the last 10 years.
If anyone feels the Holy Spirit move upon them with guidance for me I would appreciate it. I thank you in advance for your consideration. May our Lord bless you in all ways.